library day

So today I was at the library with Brandon and we were talking to the librarian, Brandon is becoming really obsessed with French Literature. I have read some, I liked The Mandarins and most of what Simone says is divine. But I kind of don't get why Brandon is obsessed with De Sade. Well I mean, I get why he likes him but I don't get why he is happily involved with De Sade. It kind of scares me, but I'm also not that worried about it.

Anyway, so Brandon was talking to the librarian about French Lit and I was asking about American lit and the librarian gave me a stapled copied collection of Jack Spicer's poems. I'm reading through it now. It's pretty wild stuff.

This ocean, humiliating in its disguises
Tougher than anything.
No one listens to poetry. The ocean
Does not mean to be listened to. A drop
Or crash of water. It means
Nothing.
It
Is bread and butter
Pepper and salt. The death
That young men hope for. Aimlessly
It pounds the shore. White and aimless signals. No
One listens to poetry.

When I was first reading it I thought he was going to say that the ocean does not mean to be listened to because its so vast, like how can someone get an angle on it? If I'm standing on the beach and listening to the waves crash... I'm not listening to the ocean at all. The ocean is way to big to even try to comprehend listening to it. Does that make sense? I never know!

But then I thought I was reading it wrong, and now I'm not sure how I should read it. Is that how poetry is? Is he comparing poetry to the ocean because reading his poems doesn't really mean I've read poetry? It's so confusing. But really brilliant because it gives me a lot to think about. Then the librarian was saying he is really into aliens and then Brandon wanted to leave so I didn't get to hear anymore. Wierd. I guess he teaches in San Francisco. I'm going to apply there next fall when I have to apply to college. I can't believe I only have a year and a half left of highschool. Crazy! I can't wait to graduate because this place makes me want to vomit nearly every second of the day. DIE